


Not Impressed

by maartiinkaa



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternative Future, Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 08:18:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16783189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maartiinkaa/pseuds/maartiinkaa
Summary: The prompt was  'Alternative Future'. This is what happened. I hope you'll enjoy it. Many thanks to my friendsherlockandjohn2010





	Not Impressed

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt was 'Alternative Future'. This is what happened. I hope you'll enjoy it. Many thanks to my friend [sherlockandjohn2010](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlockandjohn2010/pseuds/sherlockandjohn2010)

Sherlock is lying on the sofa.. He is trying to occupy his twisting mind, because he is lonely. This day has been boring so far. He could go outside and bring down some criminals, but he’s too lazy even for that. He gets up, he needs to find something to do before he starts to shoot the walls; Mrs. Hudson wouldn’t be happy. He has to admit, he’s sometimes scared of her. She might be old, but she still has it in her. Her husband was a drug dealer though, so she’s had to deal with worse than Sherlock. 

During endless wandering around the flat, something catches his attention. The DVDs. The DVDs of that dumb show everyone talks about. John and Mrs. Hudson love it, even Lestrade has seen it. Molly is definitely a big fan, she’s met some of the actors a few times. Dull. But, he could see it as an experiment. He’ll be able to have a long and satisfying discussion about how bad the show is, with the others later. Let’s try it then! 

He takes a disc with a title Sherlock Season 1 and puts in the recorder. He sits in his chair and waits for the inevitably stupid series. It is based on their most thrilling cases; the authors took inspiration from John’s blog. It’s quite weird and funny to watch someone who should be you, but isn’t actually you. 

The actor who is supposed to be him has a quite weird face, but looks very charismatic. Though it’s his name that makes Sherlock laugh. It is impossible to remember it. And he thought the name ‘Sherlock Holmes’ was strange. Of course, he’s got curly hair and great cheekbones; there is a comprehensive description in the blog, so there was no way they could skip those details. Maybe John wrote more about Sherlock’s appearance than about the actual cases. However, John’s actor is spot on. Small, blonde hair, beautiful eyes and so much cuteness. If Sherlock wasn’t in love with his friend, he might easily fall in love with that man. 

It’s getting dark outside and Sherlock takes season 2 from the shelf. It’s quite addictive. The cases are exciting, even if they are a little bit changed from those they really solved. But, it’s Jim Moriarty who makes him nervous about what happens next. The suspicion is definitely there. Sherlock shivers when he sees the other him standing on the roof of Bart’s. There are no changes from their actual lives in this situation. It happened exactly like that. It’s disturbing. He has to admit those two actors are brilliant. They are able to capture all the raw emotions. Although this is odd. Sherlock has been told, there are some adjustments, but this much?

“This will change the whole story!” he shouts at TV.

He can’t help himself and continues with ‘experimenting’. He doesn’t need to sleep and he is curious what else will be different. He’s so focused he ignores his phone ringing a few times.

And then, there is Mary, Sherlock’s return and John’s reaction to it. Sherlock wonders what made the writers change the story so much. Well, Mary Morstan was very real, unfortunately. But it never happened as it is pictured in the bloody show. 

_The beginning of everything was back in Dartmoor. That night, he was so confused and vulnerable, the emotions were fighting with his mind. But, John was there. His John, always so caring and protective. They were sitting on Sherlock’s bed, their shoulders were brushing and suddenly John turned to Sherlock and took his face in his hands. Sherlock was scared, but at the same time, felt hopeful. John did something even more unexpected. He kissed him. It was then that Sherlock realized he needed this. He needed John like this, in his arms and kissing him. He wanted to never let him go. John confessed his love to Sherlock, he didn’t say it back then, but John knew. He always knew him better than anyone else._

_After a few months, the whole thing with Moriarty happened. He was talking with John over the phone from St. Bart’s roof. He knew he had to get away, or the people he cared the most about, would die. He jumped and ‘died’ before all those eyes. But he couldn’t leave John not knowing. John was a part of the plan from the beginning. He trusted his acting skills, and he wasn’t wrong. Mycroft was keeping an eye on him and informed Sherlock about everything John was up to. They couldn’t be in contact, when the detective was chasing the criminals all around the Europe, it could endanger the mission. He needed to trace everyone from Moriarty’s net._

_Although the most important person was still missing. Rosamund Moran, Moriarty’s first hand. Finally, Mycroft’s men discovered her in London. To Sherlock’s horror, she started working at John’s clinic. Her plans would become more and more clear soon. She wasn’t convinced about his death and she tried to get some information from John. They even started dating together, but it was all planned by Mycroft, mostly. Sherlock was a little bit afraid John had actual feelings for her. But no, that wasn’t true. John would have never cheated on him. He loved him and he knew Sherlock loved him back_

_After his brother had saved him from Serbia, he could return to London. He met with John secretly, so she didn’t know. Sherlock found out John’s feelings for him were still there, maybe even bigger than before. They agreed they would continue with their intentions. They wanted to make Rosamund (or Mary as she had called herself) settled and not expecting anything. John even proposed to her, because she seemed to fall in love with him truthfully. Maybe wedding preparations would have made her less observant._

Sherlock is brought back from his memories by his phone. Lestrade. He needs a new case so much, but now he’s determined to watch the whole show.  
“Can you repeat that? What are you doing?”  
“I’m watching Sherlock and I want to finish it. I don’t have time for your cases. You’ll have to solve this one without me, Graham. Bye!”

‘The Sign of Three’ is the title of the next episode. The whole thing is about a wedding. John and Mary’s wedding. Fortunately, the real John never got to an actual ceremony.

_Mary confronted Sherlock a few days after John had proposed to her._  
_“You two idiots underestimated me. Maybe your pet is a good actor and I actually did believe his grieving. But when you returned, his behaviour changed and I got_ _suspicious.. So, here we are.”_  
_“What do you want to do?_ ”  
_“Jim’s plan was to ruin your life, but I guess killing you would do it for me.”_  
_“You know, maybe you are the person who underestimated someone.”_  
_John was standing behind her with his gun pointed to her._  
_“What are you going to do, darling? Kill me?”_  
_“Even though I’d love to, Mycroft’s men will take care of you. Darling.”_

__

_After Rosamund had been arrested, they were alone._  
_“I’m so glad I have my doctor to myself, finally.” smirks Sherlock_.  
_“Mhmmm. Sounds perfect to me. Your room or mine?”_  
_“I prefer mine. Yours is too far, I think we aren’t able to make it there. And I have a bigger bed.”_  
_“You¨re always very reasonable, love.”_

_It was their first sex after Sherlock’s return and it was even better than he remembered. It was more than simple sex, it was a love making._  
_“You know I still have a date for the wedding, right?”_  
_“Was that a proposal, Doctor Watson?”_

The authors were probably afraid to show two men getting married, so they made John marry an assassin instead. And what was even worse, they made Sherlock be part of it. He knew who she was and still let his best friend/love of his fucking life live with her. Stupid stupid stupid!  
“How the hell can anyone be happy with a killer?! 

“Who are you shouting at?”  
“John? You are home! I thought you’d be there until Friday?”  
“Well, I should have been, but you didn’t answer your phone, and then Greg called me and said you hadn’t taken the case. I was worried. Aren’t you happy I am back?”  
“Of course, I am. More than happy. Come here!” smiles Sherlock.  
And then they’re kissing. A person would think you can get used to be kissed like this, but Sherlock always feels like it’s their first time. They’ve been together 7 years and John still can make him week in his knees.  
“No lecture is more important than my husband. Will you tell me what’s going on?”  
“I was bored, so I’ve started an experiment. I watched all 3 seasons of Sherlock.”  
“So, you like it that much you don’t answer my calls.” John can’t help but laugh.  
“It’s definitely intriguing, but I got annoyed. In the show, you married Mary. The man who is supposed to be me knew who she was and let you do it anyway. This is impossible behaviour.”  
“I know, darling. My apologies, I’m so exhausted from the flight now, I’ll take a shower and go to sleep. We can watch the last season together tomorrow, if you’re amenable.”  
“Yes for watching, however sleeping is boring.”  
“Are you suggesting anything better then?”  
“Maybe, I am. Meet me in our bedroom and you’ll find out.”

They wake up in each other arms the next morning.  
“I haven’t had a good sleep like this for ages.”  
“I suppose you didn’t sleep much when I was gone. And also, we were quite exhausted after our night’s ‘activities’. You’re insatiable.”  
Sherlock’s ears turn pink. Only John is able to do this to him.  
“It’s completely your fault. I will never have enough of you.”  
“I love you too. Would you like something for breakfast?”  
“If you make those delicious pancakes, I’d happily eat them all.”  
“Good boy, now excuse me.”  
“John?”  
He stops in the doorway and turns to Sherlock.  
“Yes, love?”  
“I’m so happy you married me instead of Mary.”  
“Me too.”¨  
John walks back to Sherlock and kisses him quickly on his delicious mouth. Sherlock is ready to deepen the kiss, but John pulls away.  
“No, no. Breakfast first. We have our whole lives for the other things.”  
Sherlock lets him go with the promise. He lies back and starts thinking about Magnussen. Sherlock from the show killed him. He would have happily shot him in the head also, that bastard was a horrible person. But there wasn¨t Mary or a baby to protect, and he knew John was absolutely capable of taking care of himself. Sherlock realized it was better to let Mycroft solve the problem. He had different work to do. He was about to marry his best friend. It’s incredible it’s already been five years since their wedding. And John still doesn’t want to run away from him.

A delightful smell of the food gets him out of the bed.  
“I love your pancakes.!”  
“I’m glad I can make you eat something without complaining.”  
“You know, I was thinking about the wedding earlier. I mean yours and Mary’s. Stamford and your sister weren’t around. There was no way, you wouldn’t have invited them. I guess the writers wanted to show the audience they didn’t agree with you marrying her. It’s all leading to the other us becoming a couple, right?”  
“You’ll see. But, I must agree. Mike is still so satisfied with himself for introducing us to each other. And Harry? She would have beat me up, if I had married someone but you. She adores you.”  
They finish their breakfast still talking about the marriage thing.  
“Can we watch the other episode? It’s supposed to be a special between seasons.”  
“Great. I’m excited!”

“Well, I’m confused a little. But considering, it was all a dream, I find it quite good. So many hints to our relationship. I’m sure Sherlock and John will be together in the end.”  
John tries to keep a straight face.  
“So, another one?”  
“Definitely. We have nothing to do anyway.”

They’re a few minutes into The Six Thatchers, when someone knocks.

It’s Molly.  
“Hey, boys! I’ve brought you the things, you asked for, Sherlock.”  
“Don’t tell me, it’s some eyes or a head?”  
“Don’t worry, John. Thank you, Molly. Put it down on a table, please.”  
“Is it possible that you convinced him to watch Sherlock?”  
“No, he started watching when I was in Manchester. We’ve just started the first episode of season 4. Want to join us?”  
“You know I’m not a big fan of this season.”  
“You what?” Sherlock turns his attention to her.  
“I thought you were a big fan.”  
“Well, I was. I think I still am, but some things disappointed me. I guess I can stay for one episode.”  
She sits on Sherlock’s chair and they watch silently for some minutes.

“I don’t get it. That Mary’s characterization is just so wrong.” Sherlock yells at the TV again. “She had been nice and then she became a villain. I was okay with it. She was like our actual Rosamund. But now, they are all just pretending nothing happened. She shot that Sherlock and he forgave her and now they are the best friends. It seems she is Sherlock’s new John. Incredible.”  
John and Molly just look at each other without saying anything.  
“And she dies. Perfect. John blames Sherlock. Can you tell me why?”  
“I told you I wasn’t a fan of this season.” Molly replies.  
“I’m glad my John isn’t that stupid.”  
The other two laugh.  
“I have to go, guys. I need to do something at work and then...” she blushes “I have a date.”  
John smiles softly and winks at her, but Sherlock doesn’t seem to pay attention.  
“Wait! Are there any other reasons why you don’t like it?”  
“ Definitely John’s behaviour like you said, and it will get worse. Then Redbeard. And one more thing I can’t tell you. You’ll see. Have a nice day!”  
“What can there possibly be about a dog,that would make you dislike a show?”  
“I think you need to find out by yourself. And that’s enough for now.” John turns the TV off.  
He is prepared to deal with a sulking detective. They can’t watch it the whole day. Maybe he could make something for lunch and they can go for a walk together after. He’s so happy to be back with his man; he missed him so much.  
“Is Molly really dating someone?”  
“I guess so.”  
“And it appears you don’t know who. Don’t forget I recognize when you lie to me.”  
“Maybe I know, but I can¨t tell you. They want to tell you themselves.”  
“They? So, you know the man?”

Sherlock’s phone rings and saves John.  
“You still don’t have a suspect? Really Gavin, your men are useless. Yes, yes I’ll be there in a few.”  
“It was Lestrade. They haven’t solved their case yet...”  
“Do you want me to come?”  
“Of course, John, I’d be lost without my blogger.”  
Sherlock visits a crime scene and checks the second body and the surroundings properly.  
“It’s a shame you didn’t call me sooner. I didn’t see the first one and that makes it much more difficult.”  
“I called you and you told me you couldn’t come because of watching TV.”  
“Oh really? I don’t remember that. Have you examined the body, John? Can we go home?”  
“Yes, yes. I think I’ve found everything I can.”  
They are already leaving, but the DI stops them.  
“Sherlock!! What about the suspect?”  
“I have everything I need to know. I’ll tell you who did it tomorrow. Now, let me go home and watch the last episodes.”  
“How do you like it anyway?” grins Greg.  
“The episodes based on John’s blog were quite good, I have to admit it. But, when they came up with their own plots, it started getting worse. I’m not impressed.”  
“I agree. I thought Greg was well described there, but one moment ruined it. Enjoy your afternoon, boys! And don’t forget to call me tomorrow!”

They don¨t take a cab on the way home, John decides they need a walk considering they will spend the rest of the day sitting or lying on the sofa.  
“Do you think it’s too late for lunch? We can stop somewhere.”  
“Not hungry, and yes it’s late.”  
“You’re never hungry, but you have to eat! Promise me we’ll order something for dinner later at least.”  
“That sounds nice.”  
A winning smile appears on John’s face. He takes Sherlock’s hand and leads them back to Baker Street.

Sherlock rushes into their flat.  
“I thought we could have a nice walk through Regent’s park, but you were almost running.”  
“I need to know how this ends.”  
They make themselves comfortable on the sofa and they continue with the next episode. It goes well until John suddenly disappears in a kitchen. Sherlock doesn’t notice at first, but then he realizes John has stopped stroking his thigh.  
“Where are you? It’s getting exciting!”  
“I’ve already seen it, I’m making the tea.”  
“Making tea doesn’t take so long, John!”  
But there is no answer. Sherlock doesn’t know why John is acting so weird, but then it happens. The scene in a morgue. John beating Sherlock and calling him a monster.  
“No. No. No. This isn’t possible!”  
Sherlock dashes into the kitchen and finds his husband sitting at the table with glassy eyes.  
“I would never do this to you.”  
“I know, sweetheart. This is the most stupid thing I’ve ever seen. Even John Watson from the show could never do this. He was always so protective of Sherlock.”  
John starts crying. Sherlock kneels down in front of him and wipes his tears.  
“I couldn’t. I couldn’t. I love you!”  
“I love you too, John.”  
Sherlock kisses him softly and then hugs him. They stay like this for a long moment.  
“Is it better now?”  
“Yes, much better, thank you.”  
“Good. I need to see the rest. I can’t see how they can make them a couple now. And there were all those clues! All for nothing.”

“How can a police officer even justify this? Now I understand what Lestrade was talking about.”  
And then there is a big revelation in the end.  
“A secret sister? How? I can’t believe Sherlock would be so stupid. I don’t know if I’m able to continue.”  
“Only one episode remains.”

“This is another dream, right? It reminds me of the previous episode with the bride, except now it¨s John’s dream. It cannot be real.”  
“Well...”  
“The sister doesn’t just appear out of nowhere, she even has the magical skills! She makes a dummy of Moriarty. Ha ha. Real Moriarty wouldn’t have let this happen. He was a criminal mastermind.”  
“Come on!! Redbeard was actually a friend? Molly was right.”  
He shouts again and again at TV during watching. After it ended, he sits quiet for a few minutes.

“Sherlock?”  
“I had thought this show was dumb, then I quite liked it, but this? It’s beyond everything. The whole concept is absolutely different from the other episodes. And that scene with Molly? Even I recognized it was all wrong and I’m not an expert when emotions are involved. They should be happy my brother didn’t see it. He would get them arrested, because they made a clown of him.”  
“Many people also don’t like it.”  
“I suppose so.”  
“Twitter is full of their opinions.”  
“What’s Twitter?”  
“Really, Sherlock? It’s a platform where people share their thoughts and opinions with each other.”  
“I’d like to see it.”  
“Okay, I’ll show you.”  
Sherlock likes the Twitter thing a lot. He spends the next hour reading through it.

“I see the people are quite clever. They also don’t agree I am that stupid to not remember my sister and forget my dog was actually my best friend. And his parents didn’t look for him. Hmm interesting.”  
“Many of them are disappointed Sherlock and John didn’t become a couple in the show. They’d be over the moon if they knew we are together.”  
“Can we tell them?”  
“I’d love to show the whole world that I have the gorgeous detective as my husband. If you don’t have a problem with it.”  
“Quite the opposite. How could we let them know?”  
“I can post our wedding photo with some text.”  
“Do it!”  
“And it’s done. Look!”

**John Hamish Watson**  
I’d love to share the best moment of my life with you. It happened five years ago. On that day, I married my best friend and the love of my life, Mr. William Sherlock Scott Holmes. #HappilyEverAfter #Johnlock  
_A photo attached_

“It’s amazing! And I love the idea we are going to make many happy people.”  
“You bet! We’ve already got over 100 likes. And Amanda Abbington has replied to us.”  
“Who is she?”  
“The actress who played Mary.”

**Amanda Abbington**  
#JohnlockForever

“She’s smart and talented. What a shame they didn’t write a proper character for her.”  
“You’re probably right. And there is another answer. It’s from Molly now.”

**Molly Hooper**  
“I’m so glad you told the world, boys! I’d like to add I’m not still stupidly in love with Sherlock after all those years. I’m not delusional and I soon realized he’s gone on John. I’m happy with this man now <3  
_A photo attached_

“What? She dates Greg? And you knew it?”  
“Yes and yes. Are you aware you said his actual name?”  
“I know his name well, John. You’ve known me for a long time, so you should have noticed it’s a joke.”  
“You’re an idiot.”  
“Yes, but I’m your idiot. Dinner?”  
“Starving.”


End file.
